Its AGirlNamedEgypt and Happy Belated New Year!! 🎉, This is a kinda personal post and I apologise if it’s a little “off” as I don’t really write “personal”posts 😅, I like to share some of my life with you guys on social media BUT I like to keep my blog, like a sanctuary where I don’t have to worry about “problems” in my life, So this post is kind of -2016 in review/thoughts about 2017/ my life-type of mish-mash and warning : It will probably be a bit of a long post as I’m already rambling so ill just move on now…
I’m trying my hardest this year to be more optimistic about the future as I know there will always be a future, It’s just up to us as to what that future will be like 💙, I don’t want to ramble too much about it but if you want to read more of my thoughts on the “future” you can check out my Instagram post here BUT I do want to say that it’s very important to be open-minded and to speak out and use your voice 🗣, If you know in your heart that something isn’t right…You have to say something and I really want to use the voice I have here a lot more this year!
I will also be peppering this post with some photos from the last year as a reminder that it wasnt all bad.
Now, Last year was…..difficult, There is no denying that, ALOT of things happened in my personal life, Good and Bad things, I went on quite a few amazing holidays with my family, I got my first part-time job, I now have a little half-brother, I read new books and feel in love with new songs and shows…… but on the flip-side I also found out im most likely Lactose-Intolerant/ Slightly Allergic to Dairy, My blogging kinda went downhill, I was just soo busy that I completely ran out of time and when I did have time I was soo tired that I just lazed around, School was super busy and I was busy planning most of the year before it even happened.
My anxiety got pretty bad and I was constantly worrying about EVERYTHING and about 1/2 way through 2016 it turned into such a clusterf*ck ( Pardon my french but I am nearly 16 ya’ know 😉 ) and pretty much went downhill……….especially with the US election, I am not an American BUT I still worry and care about the world, America and their citizens and the effects that they will have on my home, New Zealand and the rest of the world.
And by the looks of it, This year is going to be just as crazy, I just hope that It will be a good kind of crazy and not a freaking, and this has been the major worry for me, WW3, Post-Trump, Everyone hates everyone crap-storm of crazy…
So firstly earlier this month I got my re-calls for my yearly dentist and optometrist appointments….Well my eyes are definitely not getting better as I already thought as its genetic and I have astigmatism in one eye BUT hopefully they will stop getting worse before it’s too bad, I just need a little tweak in my prescription so I can see a little better 👓.
For the dead-tist, which I loath, While I don’t have any cavities or anything ( I think I have only ever had one and that was in my baby tooth but im not 100% ) ….. I might need ……braces…..ugggg 😫, Apparently I have a cross-bite and my jaw just doesn’t line up perfectly so I have an appointment with the orthodontist specialist next month for x-rays ect. and hopefully I will only need a plate ( Which I’m still dreading ) for 6-12 months or …dreaded braces…Which unfortunatly here in NZ aren’t bloody cheap!
In some good news…..IM SEEING PANIC AT THE DISCO! LIVE ON THE 2ND OF FEBRUARY ( 5 DAYS! ) IN AUCKLAND AND WE ARE GOING TO THE ZOO AND MUSEUM AND IT SHOULD BE HEAPS OF FUN AND I CANT BELIEVE IM GOING TO SEE BREADBIN!!!!!
Its my 16th birthday in March and I’m going with my Dad and Step-Mum and stuff so its kind of like an early 16th present 🤗, I’m really excited and I’m going to try to blog while I am there like I did last year when we went to Wellington.
Also we have our annual family camping trip with my Mum’s side of the family at the start of March, My 16th on the 27th of March AND I am also learning to drive which is freakin scary and kind of extra hard with my anxiety, I don’t think I will be going in on my 16th birthday to take my learners test like a lot of people do as I still don’t feel 100% and I don’t want to rush it but hopefully I should have my learner’s sometime this year 🚗
I’m also starting my first year of exams in April ( Term 2 is when I start course work as I turn 16 the end of Term 1 ) which is EXTREMELY scary for me, Here in NZ they are called NCEA’s – National Certificate of Educational Achievement, I’m doing exams and course work for English and Maths this year and I even get a tutor for each subject that I can contact online and stuff and a career/guidance-counsellor-type of person to help plan my next 2-3 years of exams, I’m really nervous because, being homeschooled, I haven’t really had “exams” before and I even have to go to a local highschool at the end of the year to sit exams with other highschool students which is really scary 😖
But the super-nerd side of me is secretly excited for it as I really like book-work and filling out things and I even dedicated a new separate bullet journal to my school year ( Which I will hopefully be writing a post for soon )
I’m only sitting exams for English & Maths this year but I will still be doing my other subjects, History, Science, Art, Human Bio, Music, Spanish, Latin, Maori ect. in my own time but it is sooo hard to fit this all around my work and girl guides ( I’m going back this year as a Ranger In Leader which means I will be more active in planning meetings ect. which is a lot of extra work ) and going to my dads and my “social” life and I want to squeeze blogging in there too and I also do a lot of journaling and I like to have “me” time to read and play video games and tbh I have no idea how normal public school attending teenagers even have a minute to themselves!
OH and I also have been trying for my Queens Guide Award but unfortunately my unit closed for a year so I had to delay working towards it and now I think it is too late as It’s almost a 2-3 year course and I don’t know how the heck I could manage that as well.
And like I mentioned before having Anxiety doesn’t help the all ready full plate, I haven’t been officially diagnosed as frankly im scared of doctors but Anxiety and other stuff although it isn’t prominent, it does run in both sides of my family, It just sucks when I have the drive to do something productive and then that one thought of ” Donald Trump is literally the president of America” or ” Your going to die one day..so whats the point of any of this “ or ” WW3 could literally happen because people keep putting stupid people in charge and everyone says it’s not but they said the same thing about ww1 & ww2″ and I end up in this worry filled state for hours and I really annoy my family and friends when I try to worry other people because I don’t know how to deal with it myself.
And I know how stupid those thoughts are but I just can’t help worrying and because im naturally emotional it just snowballs into a giant mess, I have literally wasted entire days, even weekends being like this, I have ruined countless good days or family things with my episodes and don’t even get me started on 11-year-old Egypt and the whole “2012” thing…
But anyway I’m completely rambling now and to get to the point of this post, I have a lot of things going on that I don’t always share because frankly I feel like a drama-queen but the way I feel and think, at least to me, is real and I just wish I could be this “Oh-Soo-Cool person with their entire life set perfectly in stone for them” but I’m not and I don’t know what to do with anything and that’s what scares me.
I NEVER want to quite blogging but If I do go MIA for a few weeks or my posts seem rambled or rushed just know that I have alll of ^^^^ this and a lot more going on in my little life and it is really hard for me to get content out that I’m proud of sharing with you guys.
It doesn’t help that most of my friends are online ones and I happen to live on a little island called NZ (which don’t get me wrong I am proud of ) where time zones are soo extreme to anywhere else so I can’t really just ring up my friends and vent or whatever…..even though im scared of ringing people because again – STUPID ANXIETY!
So let’s do quick comparison, here I am at the start of 2016 and now at the start of 2017, I’m pretty much the same trashy-meme kid who is still slightly stuck in ’07 & 1997 but now I have red hair ( which I’m lovin ), and for some reason I’m a lot paler ( I don’t know if it’s the filter or lighting but a lot of people have said I look paler but i promise im not un-healthy or anything… I probably just didn’t go outside as much 😂 ), I think I lost weight which is great, I still worry a boatload and I try my hardest to be the best when I probably shouldn’t give myself un-realistic goals and I still made it through 2016 and you bet your grandma ( see < still trash) I will make it through 2017 ✊
Okay, Well I think I am going to wrap this up as I doubt anyone will actually read all of this but to kinda conclude, I love my readers and the community of people I have on social media and I hope soo much to grow it and that I get an amazing personal life, Learn, Experience and just LIVE more and I hope this year will be better for everyone and everything …..but I don’t know the future so
Till Next Time
P.S. Again I am very sorry about this mess of a post and I will try my hardest to get better content out this year and if any of you want to talk or anything, You can check out my social media in the sidebar or check out my contact pages 🙂